@LeviathanPride: Kim Jong Un is 30, runs a dictatorship, executes ex-girlfriends, and openly threatens to annihilate the US. What am I doing with MY life?
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@Carbosly: Gluten-free, low salt, no sugar all-natural whole grain bread? The only thing "natural" about this product is the urge to get away from it.
@YesImMatt: A woman could tweet "My dog just died" and she would get replies like "Well, I'm not dead ;)"
@causticbob: I was feeling very depressed the other week. I went to my psychiatrist and told him I was suicidal. He asked me to pay in advance.
@ghostkrogh: mob boss: stick his body in the compost pile me: wha mob boss (grabbing my collar intently): we might be killers, but u only got one earth