@LeviathanPride: Kim Jong Un is 30, runs a dictatorship, executes ex-girlfriends, and openly threatens to annihilate the US. What am I doing with MY life?
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@pleatedjeans: [junkyard dog barking viciously and running directly at me] Me: Wow he must really want me to pet him
@causticbob: Kissing the back of someone's neck is a sensuous thing to do. Unless it's a stranger in a queue in Primark.
@BuckyIsotope: Closing time, son "Huh?" You don't have to go home but you can't stay here "But I live here Dad" *Dad stares at me* Don't forget your Xbox