@JennyJohnsonHi5: Kim Kardashian's birthday is today AND she got engaged to Kanye West! It's almost like it was made for TV! Wait....
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@BackrowSeats: Take a deep breath. Good. Now count to 10. Right. Now slap someone in their face. Nice. Feel better?
@chairmanMAO_92: This hot girl asked me to recommend some music so i said Pink Floyd, she said "I didn't know Pink used her last name as well" Now she's dead
@Annoyedworld: I broke my arm when I was a kid, my Dad carried me ten miles to the hospital, he has cancer, so that's why my tattoo is hot nurse. -LA Ink.
@omgthatspunny: My wife tried to apply at the post office but they wouldn't letter. They said only mails work here.