@TheDizzyBeauty: Kinda creepy that my kids got in a screaming match over which one is my favorite since I don't have any kids.
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@booyahchadly: Before sending a tweet l always test it on my wife first. If she rolls her eyes and leaves the room, l know it has potential.
@PaperWash: Your honor let the records indicate my client was upsexy Judge: what's upsexy? [lawyer whispers to defendant] quick, this is your chance
@BawseLady: There's a book called "Why Women have sex" by Cindy Meston. The author also wrote"Why Men have sex" but I'm guessing thats just a pamphlet.
@ComedyAndTruth: Me: I'm gonna lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise every day. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?