@thetobbie: Kinda hypocritical of me to complain about people who send mixed signals seeing as the mat in front of my door says "welcome"...
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@jwoodham: MIDDLE EAST: How can we stop ISIS? EUROPE: How can we save our economy? AMERICA: What color is this dress?!
@LogicLaughs: That awkward moment you have long eye contact with someone who's really attractive, only cause it's too hard to walk away from the mirror.
@SteveSuckington: [first date] "You're not into anything weird right?" -not at all *gestures to my ferret army to fall back*