@wendchymes: Kinda miss the Jane Austen era where a man is driven mad by a woman's hand being ungloved & yet oblivious to her heaving bosom falling out.
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@TheBoydP: The only time I get anxiety is when I’m picking up a prescription for my wife and the pharmacists asks me for her birth date.
@audipenny: NOW HIRING: An employee JOB REQUIREMENTS: 96 years experience already working at this job you're applying for
@daemonic3: The worst part of getting a chain wallet for your birthday is that now you have 3 days to send 10 chain wallets to your friends.