@danjan13: Kindly respect my midwestern lifestyle and do not make any crude or irreverent jokes at this time.
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@FrogAvalanche: "How's the wine?" "House red?" "Yes." *sips, swills, spits* "Wow it's got too much body." "Sorry, I should have evicted the tenants first."
@MandaPandaXo4: I’d like to think I’d survive an apocalypse but honestly 6 minutes and 52 seconds on the elliptical just made me wanna quit living so probably not.
@Tmoney68: I'll never understand women. A species that loathes you for asking their age, but tortures you forever if you forget their birthday.
@_4kidscrazy: Me: *shakes bosses hand* Sorry I'm late to the meeting boss. Boss: No problem, restroom? Me: Yes, and we're out of TP and hand soap again.