@81I2: Kiss her in the middle of her sentence
chicks dig when you visit them in jail
@TheHyyyype: MATH TEACHER: wanna come do the problem on the board?
MT: i wasn't asking
ME: if u were an english teacher you'd know that u were
@kimmie_1980: Level of singleness: yelling, "pizza's here!" So the delivery man doesn't think all the pizza is just for me...
@TheBoydP: My neighbor called me an old drunk which really offended me. I'm not that old...
@QwertyJones3: WIFE: Your tree puns make me sick
ME: Well you make me sycamore. Why don't you leaf.
@tastefactory: You should always choose B) on multiple choice tests because it looks like a cool sunglasses face. That guy knows what he's talking about.