@MindyFurano: Kissing someone mid sentence is only cute in movies. I will press my hand against your face and slowly push it way until I'm done talking.
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@truegritrumble: WIFE: Were you harassing that old gypsy woman again? ME: *fighting off a crow* Of course not! WIFE: You lying to me? ME: No. *rains frogs*
@PostCultRev: [2054: We develop cheap cloning technology] [2055: Restaurant opens where you can have clones of yourself serve cooked clones of yourself]
@Tayallderdice: U can call me childish but When me and my ex broke up I used to go to her house ring the door bell and run away for few months
@markleggett: A celebrity died? Better take this opportunity to tell everyone a very personal story about that one time you saw them eating falafel.