@fucpk: *knock knock* whos there? sir theres been an accident. theres been an accident who?
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@schlimp: *steals machine parts all year* *gets coal for xmas* "Santa you idiot, the parts were for a pressure chamber" *turns coal into diamond*
@SamDelanche: I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
@prodigalsam: Pretty cool to think every time the Verizon guy said "Can you hear me now?" the NSA was quietly answering "Yes we can."
@ProBirdRights: I been working on my summer bod: it the same as my regular body, but this time more popsackles in it.