@fucpk: *knock knock* whos there? sir theres been an accident. theres been an accident who?
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@i_zzzzzz: Good slumber party questions: - What's the furthest underground you've ever eaten a burger - How many necks have you touched - What's pesto
@DamienFahey: The Rainforest Cafe isn't realistic enough for me. Part of the restaurant should burn down by the time you finish your meal.
@_blotty: [ocean's 11 music] So here's the plan,we iron me flat, then slide me into an ATM via the card slot. Once inside, it's a cash playground boys
@Brianhopecomedy: Cashier: "Sir, the toilet paper you're buying goes on sale tomorrow." "COOL, I'LL CHECK WITH MY FAMILY TO SEE IF THEY CAN HOLD IT IN."