@ThisAlexStein: Know your customer. Think like an idiot.
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@SteveSuckington: Fun prank: 1: steal your married friends phone 2: change your name to "Brandi from the club" 3: call them repeatedly and hang up at 3AM
@NickBossRoss: You'd think after 12 years of filming Boyhood someone would be like hey maybe we should make this good.
@abbycohenwl: Man: Welcome to Mystery Club Guy: What's it for? M: No one's sure of that [suddenly Guy's head gets clubbed] M: Or when that'll happen
@AmishPornStar1: Survival Tip: When flipping off your wife behind her back... Make sure she's not standing in front of a mirror.