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@jackiembouvier: Knuckle tats:
@lurie_john: January 27th is Mozart's birthday. Mozart died at 34 years old.
Had he lived he would be 259 years old on Tuesday
@UnFitz: Surprise a beautiful person today by disagreeing with them.
@TylerLinkin: My dog can predict when an earthquake is going to happen. But television doorbell versus actual doorbell baffles him every time.
@iGreenMonk: I'm the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember: I know how to hide a dead body.
@hrtbps: My New Year's resolution is *removes sunglasses* 2048x1080. I'll explain. *perches on desk* You see, the word 'resolution' can also refer t