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@Be___Dope: Knuckle tats:
@NicCageMatch: Keeping a blood capsule in my mouth for the next guy who tells me to smile.
@IamDrainBamaged: I've been dieting for 2 weeks now and so far I lost 5 Instagram followers.
@Reverend_Scott: Ways to tell a woman's mad at you:
1. She's silent.
2. She's yelling.
3. She acts the same.
4. She acts different.
5. She murdered you.
@SwedishCanary: Based on the amount of laundry I did today I have to assume there are people living in this house I haven't met yet.
@redpawn3: I could totally handle twins, triplets even quadruplets.
Hold it, you're talking about BABIES?