@prontopup: Kristen Stewart is proof that if you're making a face and someone slaps you on the back it will get stuck like that forever.
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@SoAnyway1: I remember the first time I saw my girlfriend, her hair was blowing in the wind, but she was too proud to run after it.
@WilliamAder: Weather Girl: I'm looking at six to ten inches tonight. Me, to the TV: But is it going to SNOW?
@Godhatespants: Him: drink? Me: I have a boyfriend Him: I have a goldfish Me: What??? Him: I thought we were talking about shit that don't matter