@thirdbeat: Kudos to NPH for keeping it brief. #Oscars
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@averagegrades: whenever a man says he's well endowed I always hope he means with a grant from the government for his new art project
@JennyJohnsonHi5: One way to find out if you're old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young, if they panic, you're old.