@bromanconsul: LA girls say they want to go on "adventures" but when I pitch the idea of overthrowing the yakuza they clarify that they meant, like, hiking
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@LurkAtHomeMom: I wish the dude that jogs around my neighborhood all day would wear a Super Mario costume. And occasionally duck into sewers.
@dafloydsta: [first day as a lawyer] ME: Clearly my client is guilty, your Honor. JUDGE: *pinching bridge of nose* Are you sure you want to defend yourself?
@bananagrvyrd: People who talk to themselves are more intelligent then those who don't, or at least that's what I like to tell myself.