@fro_vo: ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking, please fasten your seatbelts i wanna try something
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@leslid79: Oh, you solved a murder? I guess that's cool. One time I didn't run over my ex when I saw him crossing the street. I prevented a murder.
@4handfuls: AC changed "laughing at your gif" to "laughing at your God" and now I've accidentally started a religious war in this group text...
@LittleMissZesty: Conversations with my pets: Me: Please could you Dog: OF COURSE! Me: I haven't said what it Dog: I LOVE YOU! Me: Please could you Cat: No.
@ericsshadow: My fashion sense has been described as "They probably won't let you in like that" and "Are those your pajamas?"