@cm_rutvik: Ladies & gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. Anyone who bought WiFi please google "Fatal Engine Error:38" & come to Cockpit ASAP. Thanks
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@Crunk_Jews: [first day as Tour Guide in History Museum] "And if you look over here you'll see a lot more really old shit."
@Ideal_Victoria: It's official... My voice is incapable of making, "Thanks. I appreciate that" not sound sarcastic.
@SuicideBooth1: Brain: She's cute, talk to her... Me: but what should I say? Brain: ask her if she likes meat... Me: What? Brain: c'mon man, do it...