@Fred_Delicious: Ladies & gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. If you look thru the left hand windows right now you'll see me doing the worm on the runway
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@RoxiieHart: Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their Gods lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.
@ashleyaustrew: I'm on the snake diet. It's the one where you lie on the floor all day, eat 25% of your body weight, and hiss at anyone who comes near you.
@sammyrhodes: Every time I lose a sock I like to imagine it went to set one of Dobby's house elf friends free.
@Vodkantots: Whoever said, "there's no place like home for the holidays" clearly hasn't been to my house.