@qwertying: Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There's no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
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@IAmKatieOrr: HELLO? HELP! I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED & DROPPED IN A NON-ENGLISH-SPEAKING COUNTRY & I DON'T KNOW- wait. Nm. Fell asleep at Szechuan Palace again.
@NoticablyBacon: Me: If moths like light so much why haven't they all flown into the Sun? Boss:does anyone have any work related questions?
@BuckyIsotope: [commercial for soup] Have you ever wanted to eat regular food only with water poured all over it? NARRATOR: SOUP