@thedailymarker: Ladies, if all he does is make you cry then maybe you're dating an onion and not a man.
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@Sickayduh: ME: Too much turkey makes me so tired HER: Actually, it makes you sleepy, not tired ME: I'm getting real sleepy of your shit, Debra
@WittySassBasket: If I had all the money, I would pay people to sneak up behind you and blast a bullhorn right before you hit send on a political tweet.
@ilovepie84: My friend said his baby is sooo smart but the stupid idiot can't even figure out his way home when I forget him on the bus
@weeziepeezy: No YOU hug her first .... NO YOU hug her first .... F-that ! YOU hug her FIRST ! .... -Lineup congratulating the Next Ebola free nurse