@Scott_A_Gilmore: Ladies, if he says he would go to the "end of the earth" for you and then he goes missing, check Finland.
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@generaldietz: priest: you may now kiss the pride me: excuse me? priest: *motions to the other side of the altar where 7 to 8 lions with lipstick wait*
@Reverend_Scott: NEWS ANCHOR: Here's Gary with day 1 of his outdoor summer weather report. GARY: [frying an egg on the sidewalk] I quit. Back to you, John.
@BobTheSuit: Causes of childhood anxiety: 4% Bullying 9% Inability to puncture a Capri Sun pouch 87% Musical Chairs
@bea_ker: *blood everywhere* "What kind of ANIMAL would DO this?" Well, that's a gazelle Jeff, so probably a lion *to other ranger* Jeff's new here