@Scott_A_Gilmore: Ladies, if he says he would go to the "end of the earth" for you and then he goes missing, check Finland.
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@SteveSuckington: When you send food back to the kitchen, you're basically saying, "Can you have the chef rub his genitals on this please."
@MandiAtRandom: I'm an early bird and a night owl, so I'm basically some form of permanently exhausted pigeon
@Daniel_Sloss: Airport receptionist: anything to declare? Me: how bout these guns? *flexes* Her: OH GOD HE'S GOT GUNS! Me: wait.. I was.. Her: HELP!! AGH!