@PaperWash: Ladies, if you think being clumsy is cute, I once stabbed my date in the gums with a fork trying to feed her a bite of spaghetti
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@Shock_Monster: "Hey, let's get the guys that built the Obamacare website to update our app!" - Twitter
@TheTweetOfGod: "The Bible" running on the History Channel is like "Dragons" running on Animal Planet.