@mackswift: Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have snacks in your purse.
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@ruinedpicnic: me: wow a pegasus flying horse: actually Pegasus was just one horse we all have different names me: oh whats yours flying horse: Pegasus 2
@SaraMansford: Never date a chemist, they seduce you with their magnetism, only call you periodically, then one day: Boom! They Argon.
@Nuwaha17: I quit drinking & people laughed at me. Now the iPhone 7 is here and I get to sell a clean & pure Liver. The joke is now on them.