@mackswift: Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have snacks in your purse.
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@shatterpants: When I go to Subway I always bring a pair of pants that are 10 times to big for me and high five all the workers.
@Crutnacker: Why Seth MacFarlane's Oscars were mean spirited and misogynistic, coming up next after our review of the worst dressed women.
@Elizasoul80: [alien taking notes] Humans: Reluctant to common sense gun control, yet somehow completely overreactive when approached by a bee.
@Douchekevin: Ever fill a garbage bag, put your foot on it and stomped the hell out of it so it held 9 times what it's supposed to? Yoga pants explained.