@purch_s: "Ladies, please report immediately to my pants."
- Me, pretending I'm wearing pants.
@BoogTweets: (Creating Atheists)
God: Make some humans Sciencey
Angel: Will they believe in you?
God: No, but they'll be so surprised when we meet!
@FBSisnothere: You know you have something special w someone when u start finishing their sentences. But enough about me & my local Subway sandwich artist
@Grind_n_Roll: The past, present and future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
@shawnspree: To catch a woman, one must think like a woman.
*places glass of wine, and Channing Tatum dvd on mouse trap
@cleverprime: A hearty round of applause for Starbucks, please.