@sammynickalls: ladies: the day after Halloween, don't forget to buy all the discounted blood capsules to keep in your mouth when men tell you to smile
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@TheFearBoners: So PSY's song "Dear American" includes the lyric "Kill them all slowly and painfully" and now I understand what Gangnam Style was all about.
@splegge: Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet. If you don't like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
@DaHess1: A bunch of religious accounts are following me so I can only assume I'm the subject of a monthly sermon series.
@AverageCorners: 11: Did it rain last night? Me: No. 11: But it's so wet! Me: That's what she said. 11: What? Me: What?