@sammynickalls: ladies: the day after Halloween, don't forget to buy all the discounted blood capsules to keep in your mouth when men tell you to smile
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@whatmaddness: I'm trying to explain to my mother how to get pictures off her phone, while we're on the phone, and everything is awful.
@Home_Halfway: I forgot the name for a beaver the other day so I referred to them as "architect squirrels."
@LoveNLunchmeat: You could murder someone in California and they wouldn't even arrest you as long as you properly composted the body.