@HungoverLawyer: Ladies: We leave the toilet seat up because we don't want to touch it any more than you do.
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@ArfMeasures: ME: Off to the concert with my friends WIFE: Say hi to everyone for me [later] ME [individually saying hi to 10,000 ppl] This is exhausting
@batkaren: KID: Why's the sky blue DAD: It's sad MOM: Light refraction DAD: … MOM: … DAD: (*mumbling*) light refraction
@Contwixt: Atheists don't seem to recognize church is worth it for the bake sales alone. God, or no god, those are good Brownies.