@mdvaldosta: Ladies: we're not fooled by your PMS trickery. I see how happy you are in those tampon commercials.
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@BuckyIsotope: TARGET GUY: anything I can help you find? ME: I’m looking for *eyes turn black* BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT TARGET GUY: *eyes turn black* AISLE 5
@djdarrellripley: Her: I just saw my parents having sex on the couch. Me: Please tell me that's a drink...
@RBColl: I wonder why call them backup vocals. Was there ever a time the lead fainted and the backup took over the mic and the show went on as usual?