@NurseSeymour: Ladies, when a creepy guy asks for your # and hands u his phone, text REDCROSS to 90999 so he'll donate $10 to Disaster Relief.
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@Jeff_Sargeant: 2 out of 3 isn't bad. Unless you come home from the park with 2 out 3 kids. Then it's bad
@Token_Geezer: *sees baby* *feels sad that my kids aren't babies anymore* *sees look of exhausted despair in baby's parents eyes* *sadness evaporates*
@That_Damn_Duck: One last time... It’s ‘a lot’ not ‘alot'! It’s that simple. Tomorrow we’ll cover thermonuclear fusion & the works of Voltaire.