@goldengateblond: Lady at my gym is pedaling a stationary bike while eating chips right out of the bag. I'm hiring her as my personal trainer.
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@squirrel74wkgn: [at Victoria's Secret] *folding panties on table* "Sir, where are the fitting rooms?" Oh, I don't work here. *continues folding panties*
@Underchilde: Bring spoiled food to work enough and your coworkers eventually stop eating anything with your name on it.
@Sirrruh: My friend Stephen misheard me when I invited him to this CrossFit gym. He's going to have a hell of a time running in stilettos.
@NoogsCorner: Curiosity should start overthrowing the local government and drilling for oil any minute now.