@WGladstone: Lady Gaga got engaged on Valentine's Day with a heart-shaped ring, indicating her fiance shares her love for bold originality.
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@sarbeaaaar: MY DENTIST ASKED HIS ASSISTANT TO SUCTION (THE WATER OUT OF MY MOUTH)BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING TO ME SO I SUCKED HIS FINGER. IM MORTIFIED
@Bob_Heller: Every single cat would kill you if it was big enough. Think about THAT when you are deciding between name brand cat food and the generic.
@wendyraepearce: If all my Facebook friends followed me on twitter, I'd be dragged to church for an exorcism.