@TheMichaelRock: Lady GaGa is easily the scariest of all the Muppets.
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@Xoolun: These Jehovah's Witnesses are getting creative. They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant.
@YeahDrewisOn: I've learned there are two types of people in this world: People I trust to help me bury bodies... ...and bodies
@Brianhopecomedy: My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I'm proud of him, I doubt he'll make a lot of sales in the backyard.
@KalvinMacleod: ME: all the King's horses and men couldn't put u back together HUMPTY DUMPTY: what now M: [opening package of bacon] I'll think of something