@SCbchbum: Lady next to me in 50 Shades pulled out her glasses & asked if she missed the good part. I said no, the credits weren’t rolling yet.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Bob_Janke: Squirrels don't want to wear shoes no matter how cold it is I tell the emergency room physician
@electrolemon: scarlet joe hanson sounds like an old timey boxer's name. "weighin' in at 182 lbs, 5'9", the ol' black widow, scarlet jooooooe hansen!"
@HomeProbably: Relationship status: My neighbour/girlfriend was kidnapped but she's ok now, I was caught.
@TheCatWhisprer: If you thought you had a rough night, my toddler couldn't wear an oven mitt to bed.