@jake_lach: Lady pulled away with the gas pump still in her car and I was like OMG who's your dealer?
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@Donna_McCoy: Omg what a weekend - I don't need to eat again for the rest of this year. Is that cheesecake?
@Ristolable: *agrees with someone online* Yeah, I agree. *disagrees with someone online* YOU'RE NOT JUST WRONG YOU'RE HITLER AND I HATE YOU FOREVER
@ArfMeasures: BOSS: I suspect one of you wrongly uses nouns as verbs. Everyone turns around and stairs at me.
@noimnotjewish: Dude, the fact that I called YOU to bail me out of jail is quite the compliment, so let's dial back that "It's 4 am!" attitude, mmkay?