@Robert_Beau: Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
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@Reverend_Scott: Witness: I saw the defendant stabbing the victim. Lawyer: Objection! Witness is ugly! Judge: Sustained. Jury will disregard the statement.
@LaziestCanine: [uses the restroom] Wife: make sure to put the toilet seat down Me: okay Me: [to toilet seat] you're worthless and nobody likes you
@007Pepe_Rex: Relationship status: I ran out of toilet paper a week ago. Update: I am now running out of paper towels.