@NintenDom: Lame! I was tricked into watching PS, I Love You! It's definitely NOT about a guy that marries his PlayStation.
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@astutenewf: 12: Dad, if Mary gave birth to Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of god, didn't Mary have a little lamb? Me: And you came with a no return policy
@daemonic3: [first date] *Ok don't let her know you're a vampire* "Would you like a mint?" *reaches in pocket, pulls out SPF 5,000,000,000* "Dammit"
@Cravin4: I'm so broke identity thieves sent a fruit basket with a note. "Sorry about the ID theft. Please tell your creditors to stop calling us."