@davedittell: LAMP FOR SALE: gold, antique, good patina, evil genie, functions like new, you will be killed, shiny, polished, be careful what you wish for
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@Parker_Simpson: this Holiday Inn has their flag at half mast...I'm assuming one of their guests died overnight
@Tommytoughstuff: Some people say I hang out with the wrong crowd. They're always like "Hey man we're over here you don't even know those people."
@ThRealBallsDeep: Boss:Why is your voice gone? Are you ok? Me:*thinks back to me belting out Ariana Grande's "Dangerous Woman"* I'm ok...allergies are bad.