@davedittell: LAMP FOR SALE: gold, antique, good patina, evil genie, functions like new, you will be killed, shiny, polished, be careful what you wish for
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@Jeff_Sargeant: 2 out of 3 isn't bad. Unless you come home from the park with 2 out 3 kids. Then it's bad
@WheelTod: So psyched! My 1st granddaughter born today: 6lb11oz! Which is not the name I'd have chosen, but I guess I need to keep up with the times.
@LackOfShame: Sorry I ate all your cake after you passed out and then drew your angry eyebrows on so you'd be ready to discuss it when you woke up.
@flashember: [Crime Scene] Detective: Looks like the killer used a wheelbarrow to dump the victim. [in the shed a wheelbarrow grins, his seventh kill]