@KenJennings: Landlocked countries with beach volleyball teams: who do you think you're fooling?
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@daemonic3: ME: [opening present from kids] Partially eaten chocolate coins? KIDS: You said you wished you had hundreds of bit coins! ME: [hiding pain of crippling debt] Haha I love it
@JKickinit30: You can't control what people say or do. The only thing you can control is how much accelerant to use.
@TheTweetOfGod: An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. But a tooth is worth half an eye, so an eye for two teeth also works, if you're out of eyes.
@VodkaThursday: I got an email from Olga. She thinks I'm sweet & "longs for finding a special person for serious relations". So there's always that.