@robdelaney: .@LAPD My wife made hazelnut "coffee" with my coffee maker. Send all available units.
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@dumbbeezie: How to handle a one night stand the next morning 1. Put on Titanic 2. He's gone, that's it
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Got thrown out of the theater during the Superman movie but was able to sneak back in by putting on glasses.
@MikeCanRant: I wait til the mailman comes to send all my emails in front of him while keeping eye contact and whispering "Your end is nigh, letter boy."
@cuntyfruitbats: Here Here Here Here Here Here Here -1 sided text conversation between me and my 18yo daughter because all I do is pick her up from places.