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@causticbob: Lassie, get help!
@Mr_Kapowski: I didn't want the cop to see that my car's registration tags weren't current but apparently swerving erratically got his attention too
@joeljeffrey: I took my cat to Build-A-Bear so he could see what's going to happen to him if he pees on the carpet again.
@chrisanna4real: Breakup? I'm sorry no.
You're not finished being in love with me yet.
@thecrabbyhook: To avoid "the talk" I just convinced my 6yo that we got her from Amazon.
@Book_Krazy: [A pair of crocs sitting on a riverbank]
Why do you think people hate us so much?
"Idk. I blame the idiots who wear us with socks."