@VerifiedDrunk: Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, the very next day you told me you're gay....
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@hangin_out: During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.
@Playing_Dad: [Heaven] Me: Can I come in? St Peter: *shakes head no* Me: Was it close? St Peter: *rolls out my lifetime internet history* Not really
@junejuly12: Regardless of how strange your life can be, at least you're not the h in chameleon.