@SortaBad: Last month my mom asked what "af" meant and I said it meant "like REALLY something" without saying what it stood for
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@onelongbender: My internet boyfriend doesn't know about my real life boyfriend, which makes two of them.
@MooseAllain: My friend's organising a football match and asked if I'd like to make up the numbers. I suggested squix hundring and nankety noof.
@notalogin: *Giant boulder slowly crushes several hundred cats* Guy who's about to invent the bagpipes: Hey, this gives me an idea!
@jaelco26: I'm doing Bikram yoga today. By that I mean I'm in the back seat of a hot car trying to contort myself enough to reach the ignition.