@SonOfCha: Last night a burglar broke into my house but I quickly popped open a bag of potato chips & hid in all that free space.
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@two1ohhbabydoll: "Bro, if she can still walk to the kitchen to make you a sandwich, you did it wrong." - murderers, apparently.
@jctwritesstuff: *has argument with husband* *brings up all the dumb shit he said in 2011* *adds "Historian" to bio*