@SonOfCha: Last night a burglar broke into my house but I quickly popped open a bag of potato chips & hid in all that free space.
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@alexisthenedd: trump may have a point about video game violence, ever since skyrim came out i've been climbing to high elevations and shouting bears off of cliffs and i don't think it's a coincidence
@pro_failure: I've stopped trying to explain twitter to my friends and now just say,"I collect tiny imaginary people in my phone using jokes as bait."
@trevso_electric: If your Facebook picture is a photo of a sunset or something inanimate, I'll assume you have a dissociative identity disorder.