@causticbob: Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth.I woke up half an hour later and my whole house was on the internet
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@dril: the neighborhood teens have left so many burning bags of garbage on my lawn that everyone thinks that this is the place you burn garbage now
@DaveWeasel: If you don't like the way you look naked, remember; by the time you have your clothes off, its the other person's problem.
@BrakSucks: [Me and a friend have movie night, order pizza and do some acid] Me: "Hell yeah" Friend: "Hell yeah" Pizza: "Oh hell yeah"