@PimpBillClinton: Last night I finally slept with a woman who has a Coke bottle figure. Unfortunately, she was a 3 liter.
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@jazmasta: "I feel like a failure, doc. I've got 5 boys and they ALL work as hotel valets" "Wow this is the worst case of parking sons I've ever seen!"
@Quartzjixler: A mother bear defending her cubs but it's me defending the fresh pan of bacon from other hotel guests at the breakfast buffet.