@SortaBad: Last night I found out you can make a lot of people REALLY angry if you dress in a Star Trek costume and also carry a light saber
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@badbanana: Last-second gift idea. Bring a tag and put it on any present already under the tree. Call other person a liar. Be willing to fight him/her.
@decentbirthday: Friend: check out my conscience shell Me: you mean conch? *holds up to ear* Shell: you saw those kids get in that van and you did nothing
@Parentpains: Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can't help but wonder how long he was dating my ex.