@jus4golf: Last night I got so drunk I spent an hour apologizing to a tree for saying it's bark was worse than it's bite.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Brianhopecomedy: Apparently I pack an apple in my 5 year old's lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours.
@skullmandible: ENGLAND: people are CROSSING OUR BORDERS for ECONOMIC ADVANCEMENT!!! THE ENTIRE GODDAMNED WORLD FROM LIKE 1583 to 1997: u don't say
@Blondiethegood: I just threw away all the toilet paper in the office so this day is about to get interesting.