@jus4golf: Last night I got so drunk I spent an hour apologizing to a tree for saying it's bark was worse than it's bite.
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@justabloodygame: No one sleeps with Gandalf because it takes him until first light on the fifth day to come.
@causticbob: Most people think that being in your 50s is now classed as the new 30s. Take my word for It, the police speed cameras think differently
@sirivan: There’s no problem you can’t solve with a great night of dancing. Except for a broken foot. Then you should see a doctor.
@copymama: My 7yo said if she ever gets married she wants to have a pajama-themed wedding, and I feel like my parenting has come to fruition.