@mikeleffingwell: Last night I slept for 8 hours straight, and then for 2 hours gay.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@notorious_stars: My girlfriend looks super hot without glasses. That's why I stopped Wearing them
@ilovepie84: I play Nickelback real loud all day so crickets can listen to something annoying when they try to sleep
@bfrosty04: Vicodin and Scotch. When you absolutely, positively need to wake up underneath your neighbor's swing-set.
@KevinHart4real: Nothing worse than talking to a person with a large amount of spit in their mouth that talks really fast. HOLY SHIT...My glasses r ruined