@online_shawn: Last night I went to a hardware store with my dad and a lady was leaving the store with a shovel and my dad yelled UH OH SHOVEL TIME at her
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@HannahFlores01: Accepting water from a salesperson is a sign of weakness. *faints from dehydration*
@MoneypennyNaked: I really need someone to follow me around Target to say "No. No. Put that back. You don't need that. You already have 4 of those at home."
@Vice_Queen: I'm at a second grade music recital and this is by far the most effective form of birth control I've ever tried.
@RidiculousSheri: My boyfriend has the body of a god! Or the body of God. Okay, he's like the body of Christ. What I mean is, he's a round white cracker.