@beardofprey: last night my dog shit on the floor then at some point the Roomba came and smeared it all over the house :D
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Tierno158: My motto is "Grab Life by the Balls." As you might imagine, being dyslexic, I spend a lot of time apologizing to guys named "Leif."
@mydanimarie: DATING TIP: Any time someone is hot and you're too scared to approach them, remind yourself that they've probably had diarrhea at some point
@ProdigyNelson: "WHAT DO WE WANT?" "A BETTER STRUCTURE FOR MEASUREMENT OF TIME THAT ISN'T AN ILLUSION CREATED BY MAN" "WHEN DO WE WANT IT?" ... "shit"
@nocturnallyme: I could be wrong, but an escape goat strikes me as an awfully inefficient getaway plan.