@Beakmoo: Last time I saw my boyfriend he was getting on a plane to Helsinki. You might say he vanished into Finnair.
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@ehdannyboy: "Always give your food a rinse before you eat it," my dad always used to say. Lovely man. Made terrible sandwiches.
@Skullcat: My autopsy is going to be surprising as hell because I am 100% filled with mashed potatoes
@JediGigi: Him: ...and I asked you out because you're smart and pret-WHY ARE YOU POKING ME WITH A STICK? Me: To see if you're real or if I'm just high